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Inspiration and Expiration

Flashes of creativity or imagination and their due results

The Monotony of Everyday Life

There’s a quote in Paper Towns,

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Most of us have had to deal with a similar thought. Or maybe it crossed our mind amidst other self-revealing others, but we probably didn’t give it a second thought as we unknowingly but usually knowingly seal the fate of every other such thought.
I mean, is going on an expedition of finding yourself even relevant these days? Who even has the time for that? That’s when we succumb to the social media pressure, posting a tweet and patting our self at the back for it.

But this quote refused to leave me alone. The relateability and accuracy of it left a deep wound in me.  Firstly, our life is indeed a cycle of all-too-familiar oh-so-similar occurring events one after another, their inherent time period being indefinite and bringing only a mild unnoticeable newness each time. Second, this fact doesn’t really bother us unless we’re on a soul searching mission or revaluating our life after falling into yet another existential crisis. It’s either or neither for me right now or maybe this is what they call over thinking. Thirdly, even after making an effort to acknowledge it and draining our mind trying to decipher the meaning and the significance, we don’t actually or rather are not willing to do anything about it. We let it go, of all the things we should be letting go. Not caring perhaps even starting to despise the whole idea of it when it’s obvious how bad we’re craving if even a drop of change in our lives, in us.

We fear change. As taunting and daunting it might seem or difficult sometimes even impossible, we can never bring ourselves to embrace it with a wide grin. Be it a big change or a trivial one, like going up to the supermarket to try a different brand of tea. And honestly how many people gave up whole professions after realizing at one point that it failed to provide even the necessary satisfaction it should have let alone contentment. How many people have actually taken proper action to eradicate a stereotype reigning and ruining their family for generations or banishing unconventional family traditions and not just bringing it up on social media? Are we really as strong willed and courageous to take a stand, say no where we have to, reject when we should?

We say we don’t care, too much and all too often but do we really? Or is it our only retreat. I mean, saying just that might get the other person to shut up but what about the voice that’s echoing in your head. Meaning it, really meaning we don’t care is debatable.
We look for all things familiar, traditional and understanding. Somehow we decide that a particular thing is meant for us, has a value, a meaning in our life on some unknown level while others are just not our cup of tea. So we adopt what we find acceptable, wear it, hide behind it and carry it with us for the rest of our lives- our very own comfort zone.

We spend our lives imitating others, following in other people’s footsteps never making our own path and not seeing that we’ve lost ourselves in the process, not realizing that we all get one chance at life and that chance was wasted trying to be someone we’re not, someone we are simply not meant to be.

Published in Us Mag, The News International 1 Sept, 17

https://www.thenews.com.pk/magazine/us/227278-The-monotony-of-everyday-life

 

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Beauty and the beast

Collecting wild flowers and sunsets

I came across life as a rare beauty

And through heartbreak and death

Is how the beast I met

a.z

Poet’s Corner, Us Mag The News Intl. (30 June ’17)
https://www.thenews.com.pk/magazine/us/213543-POETS-CORNER

Lost and Found

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All my life I’ve been my best sober self,
Avoiding all addictions that life had to offer
Only to lose it all, after all
But this time, I’m going to lose myself
To the bitter crack and the sweet wine
To forget everything and leave it all behind
As I shoot agony as laughter in the sky
And dance till my tears run dry

Published in Us Magazine The News International 9 Dec ’16
https://www.thenews.com.pk/magazine/us/170644-BOOK-REVIEW

Weak

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They say the pen is mightier than the sword,
Yet she felt weaker, more vulnerable
With every verse that she wrote.

Published in Us Magazine The News International 2 Dec, 16:
https://www.thenews.com.pk/magazine/us/169056-POETS-CORNER

Book Review: All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

*SPOILERS*

My immediate thought was that I hated it altogether completely so I wanted to give myself time before I reviewed it but now I just want to get it over with.

The Fault in Our Stars meets Eleanor and Park. What do you expect?

While I’m reading the book I literally go like “One of them is going to die.” The thought depressed me then and it depresses me now.

That’s the thing with tragedies such as these, it’s all clear with the ending and everything, yet you long for closure and you want ‘that’ alternate ending so bad.

I don’t really understand the comparison with E&P and TFIOS, it’s nothing like either of those as it surrounds a different tale, a distinct theme altogether.
The theme was unfamiliar, the first of its kind that I read a book (a love story) revolving around. But it meant something and it conveyed loud and clear what it was trying to say. I get it and I believe it. So yes, in a way it was an eye-opener but did it change me? I’m yet to find out.

Finch’s sense of humor aside, which was from the start the best thing about this book but his suicide was rather a bit sudden despite all the suicide texts rolling in (I know). It was only after the funeral that I realized what had happened and somehow I still refuse to believe it. I simply hated the use of this perfect story for just one particular message to be delivered. It really caught me off guard and it was not at all what I was expecting. I wanted to hate this book but couldn’t because the book itself is explicitly written. From the very start there’s a punch, there’s all the stuff I love so much and many other different things going on and then after a while it’s all ‘love is in the air’ until it suddenly progresses to a tear jerky and depressing end as I’m stunned and just that transition from all my favorite stuff is what I actually really hated. I simply would’ve loved it for those same cords and values to have remained till the end.

The book itself was a fine blend of all my favorite sugars and spices. It was really witty. It actually made me smile more times than I can remember. Absolutely loved the sarcastically true and relateable analogies. It was almost poetic. I loved how the story began from the first line of the book and was not dragged at all and also did not die somewhere in the middle which is a rare commodity.

As much as I hate how so tragically tragic it was, I’d still give it a pretty good rating of 4 out 5.

Book Review: Me Before You by JoJo Moyes

*SPOILERS*

I know enough Anatomy to understand that Will can’t miraculously get better but a part of you cannot come to terms with that until the 6 month thing is revealed after which you just bloody want him to be alive by the end of the book.
The end. Coincidentally, by the end of the book I was literally thinking to myself, “If now a goodbye letter emerges somehow, I’d be pissed like anything”

Yes, the ending could’ve been different. Would it have been better? I honestly don’t know.
But yes, I’d have liked if Will had given this love story a chance. Yes, he could’ve responded better to Lou’s confession at the beach. He could’ve made an effort but that’s what makes this book all the more tragically beautiful, his will and determination at one end. Her will and determination on the other.
Yes, I wouldn’t have minded an alternate ending where Will possibly extends his decision for an invariable period of time for Lou. That would’ve been a win-win situation for both, a middle ground perhaps. He refused flat on which really got me. It seemed all too one-sided. But seeing how what I’m suggesting would’ve affected what the writer had planned for Lou in the epilogue and the next book After You, I guess it’s couldn’t be much of a possibility.
The ending did make me feel like it was a lot more about money and class difference right from the beginning.

That’s the thing with these books, you think you won’t be okay with the ending that you won’t be able to accept it but strangely so there isn’t even a point in accepting it, you kind of know all along this was going to happen and it does and you are wrecked and depressed but also surprisingly alright after a bit.

All in all, it was a pretty intense read, addicting from the start.
I do love a book brimming with quotes on every page so that bit was a downer.
I loved how all at the same time, Will was trying to change Lou and she was trying to change him. The best thing about this book, really.

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